Using Affirmations for Wellness and Happiness

Affirmations are positive, intentional statements designed to challenge and overcome self-doubt, negativity, and limiting beliefs. When practiced regularly, affirmations can foster mental well-being, boost happiness, and improve overall life satisfaction. Rooted in psychological principles and mindfulness practices, affirmations offer a simple yet powerful way to rewire your mindset and promote personal growth.


Why Affirmations Work

  1. Rewiring Negative Thought Patterns
    Affirmations leverage neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to form new neural pathways. By repeating positive statements, you reinforce optimistic thinking, replacing habitual negativity. According to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy principles, altering thought patterns can lead to improved emotional and behavioral outcomes.
  2. Enhancing Self-Efficacy
    Affirmations strengthen your belief in your ability to handle challenges. Research published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that self-affirmations activate the brain’s reward centers, enhancing motivation and resilience.
  3. Reducing Stress and Improving Mood
    Repeating affirmations can lower stress levels by shifting focus away from anxiety-inducing thoughts. Studies in the Journal of Positive Psychology show that affirmations can help individuals maintain a calm and optimistic outlook, contributing to greater emotional stability.
  4. Fostering Gratitude and Mindfulness
    Affirmations often focus on gratitude or self-love, grounding you in the present moment. This practice aligns with mindfulness, which has been shown to reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

How to Use Affirmations Effectively

  1. Be Specific and Personal
    Create affirmations that resonate with your unique goals and challenges. For example, instead of saying, “I am successful,” say, “I am capable of achieving my career goals.”
  2. Use Present Tense
    Frame affirmations as if they are already true. Statements like, “I am confident and calm in every situation,” reinforce the desired state of mind.
  3. Repeat Daily
    Consistency is key. Recite affirmations during your morning routine, before bed, or any time you need a confidence boost. Writing them down reinforces their impact.
  4. Combine with Visualization
    Visualize yourself embodying the affirmation as you say it. For instance, imagine feeling joyful and relaxed while repeating, “I am at peace with myself and the world.”
  5. Anchor Affirmations to Actions
    Pair affirmations with behaviors that align with your goals. If you’re affirming better health, integrate it with exercise or healthy eating.

Examples of Affirmations for Wellness and Happiness

  • For Stress Reduction: “I release all tension and embrace calm.”
  • For Self-Love: “I am worthy of love and respect.”
  • For Gratitude: “I am grateful for the abundance in my life.”
  • For Resilience: “I grow stronger with every challenge I face.”
  • For Happiness: “I choose joy and positivity in every moment.”

The Science Behind Affirmations

  • Self-Affirmation Theory
    This psychological concept suggests that affirmations help maintain self-integrity by affirming core personal values. Claude Steele’s research emphasizes how affirmations buffer against stress and criticism.
  • Study Highlights
    • Creswell et al. (2013): Found that affirmations reduce stress by increasing activity in the brain’s self-processing regions.
    • Sherman & Cohen (2006): Demonstrated that affirmations enhance problem-solving abilities and emotional resilience.

Conclusion

Affirmations are a simple yet transformative practice that can enhance your wellness and happiness. By intentionally crafting and repeating positive statements, you can cultivate a healthier mindset, build resilience, and foster a deeper sense of joy and fulfillment. Whether you’re seeking greater self-love, improved stress management, or a more optimistic outlook, affirmations provide a powerful tool to reframe your thoughts and enrich your life.

Research Articles

  • Creswell, J. D., et al. (2013). “Self-Affirmation Improves Problem-Solving under Stress.” PLoS ONE.
  • Steele, C. M. (1988). “The Psychology of Self-Affirmation.” Advances in Experimental Social Psychology.

Failure: A Powerful Tool for Success

All Great Ideas … come from going back to the “Drawing Board”

Failure is often viewed as a setback or a source of embarrassment, but in reality, it is one of the most valuable tools for growth and success. Many of history’s most successful individuals attribute their achievements to lessons learned through failure. When approached with the right mindset, failure becomes a stepping stone to innovation, resilience, and self-improvement.


Why Failure is a Tool for Success

1. It Teaches Valuable Lessons

Failure provides firsthand experience that no theoretical knowledge can replace. It highlights what doesn’t work, allowing you to refine your strategies and approaches. According to a study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, and Cognition, people often retain information better when it follows an error because the brain processes the failure as a learning opportunity.

2. It Builds Resilience

Overcoming failure strengthens mental fortitude. Each setback forces you to confront adversity, adapt, and try again. This resilience is a hallmark of successful individuals, as they learn to navigate challenges with persistence and optimism.

3. It Encourages Innovation

Many breakthroughs occur because of failure. Thomas Edison famously remarked, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” during his quest to invent the lightbulb. Failure encourages experimentation and creativity, often leading to unexpected discoveries.

4. It Fosters Humility and Self-Awareness

Failure can be a humbling experience, prompting self-reflection. It helps identify areas for improvement and provides a deeper understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, which are critical for personal and professional growth.

5. It Fuels Motivation

For those who channel failure constructively, it becomes a motivator rather than a deterrent. The desire to overcome setbacks often drives individuals to work harder and smarter to achieve their goals.


How to Use Failure as a Tool

  1. Embrace a Growth Mindset
    Carol Dweck’s research in Mindset: The New Psychology of Success emphasizes the importance of seeing failure as an opportunity to grow rather than a fixed indicator of ability. Viewing challenges as learning experiences can transform how you respond to setbacks.
  2. Analyze and Reflect
    Take time to understand why a failure occurred. What can you learn from it? What changes can you make moving forward? This reflection turns failure into actionable insights.
  3. Stay Persistent
    Success often requires multiple attempts. Famous failures like J.K. Rowling, who faced multiple rejections before publishing Harry Potter, demonstrate that persistence is key.
  4. Reframe Failure as Feedback
    Instead of viewing failure as the end, see it as valuable feedback for improvement. This perspective reduces fear and builds confidence.
  5. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
    Recognize the courage it took to try, even if you didn’t succeed. This mindset encourages risk-taking and reduces the stigma of failure.

Examples of Success Born from Failure

  • Walt Disney: Fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination,” Disney went on to create one of the most influential entertainment empires in history.
  • Oprah Winfrey: After being demoted from her job as a news anchor, Oprah used the setback to pivot into a career that aligned with her passions, becoming one of the most successful talk show hosts of all time.
  • Steve Jobs: After being ousted from Apple, Jobs founded NeXT and Pixar, eventually returning to revolutionize Apple with groundbreaking products like the iPhone.

Resources for Further Reading

Books

  • Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck
    Explores how adopting a growth mindset helps turn failures into opportunities.
  • Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success by John C. Maxwell
    Offers practical advice on how to embrace failure and use it as a catalyst for growth.

How to Lead Effectively at Work

Effective leadership is critical for fostering a positive workplace culture, driving productivity, and achieving organizational goals. Great leaders inspire their teams, communicate effectively, and adapt to challenges with resilience. Here are the key components of effective workplace leadership and actionable strategies for success.


1. Lead by Example

Leaders set the tone for the workplace. Demonstrating integrity, accountability, and a strong work ethic encourages employees to follow suit. Modeling the behaviors you expect—such as punctuality, respect, and adaptability—builds trust and credibility.

Action Tip: Be consistent in your actions and align them with your organization’s values.


2. Communicate Clearly

Clear, open communication is the cornerstone of effective leadership. Leaders must convey goals, expectations, and feedback in a way that is concise and motivating. Active listening is equally important to understand team members’ perspectives and concerns.

Action Tip: Use regular one-on-one check-ins and team meetings to foster transparency and address issues promptly.


3. Empower Your Team

Empowering employees involves delegating tasks, providing autonomy, and recognizing individual contributions. When employees feel trusted and valued, they are more likely to take ownership of their work and strive for excellence.

Action Tip: Offer opportunities for skill development, and celebrate successes, big or small, to boost morale and engagement.


4. Adapt to Change

The workplace is constantly evolving, and effective leaders must remain flexible. Whether managing a team through organizational changes or industry disruptions, adaptability is key to maintaining stability and morale.

Action Tip: Embrace a growth mindset and encourage your team to view challenges as opportunities for learning and innovation.


5. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand and manage your emotions while empathizing with others. High EQ allows leaders to handle conflicts gracefully, motivate diverse personalities, and foster an inclusive work environment.

Action Tip: Practice self-awareness and empathy to build stronger relationships with your team.


6. Focus on Vision and Strategy

A strong leader provides direction by aligning the team’s efforts with organizational goals. Sharing a clear vision helps employees understand how their work contributes to the bigger picture, fostering motivation and a sense of purpose.

Action Tip: Regularly communicate the organization’s mission and strategic objectives to ensure alignment.

Conclusion

Leading effectively at work is about more than just managing tasks—it’s about inspiring people, fostering collaboration, and navigating challenges with resilience. By practicing clear communication, empowering your team, and continuously developing emotional intelligence, you can create a thriving workplace where both individuals and the organization succeed.


Resources for Effective Leadership

Web Resources


The Benefits of Gratitude

A Key to Happiness and Well-Being

Gratitude, the practice of recognizing and appreciating the positive aspects of life, is more than just a fleeting feeling—it’s a powerful tool for improving mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. Research shows that cultivating gratitude can lead to lasting benefits for individuals and communities alike.

1. Enhanced Mental Health

Gratitude has been consistently linked to increased happiness and reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety. Studies, such as those published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, show that writing down things you are grateful for, even once a week, can significantly improve mood and overall life satisfaction. Gratitude shifts focus away from negative emotions, encouraging a more optimistic outlook.

2. Improved Physical Health

Grateful individuals report fewer aches and pains and tend to engage in healthier behaviors, such as exercising and attending regular checkups. A study by Emmons and McCullough (2003) revealed that participants who kept gratitude journals exercised more frequently and reported fewer physical complaints compared to those who focused on daily hassles.

3. Stronger Relationships

Expressing gratitude can strengthen interpersonal connections. Research published in Emotion highlights that gratitude fosters feelings of trust and closeness, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or workplace dynamics. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in deepening bonds and enhancing mutual respect.

4. Better Resilience

Gratitude can act as a buffer against stress and trauma. People who practice gratitude are better equipped to handle adversity, as they focus on what remains positive in their lives, even during challenging times. This resilience-building effect is particularly evident in studies on gratitude and post-traumatic growth.


How to Cultivate Gratitude

  1. Keep a Gratitude Journal: Write down three things you’re grateful for daily or weekly.
  2. Practice Mindfulness: Reflect on the positive aspects of your current moment.
  3. Express Appreciation: Verbally thank someone who has made a difference in your life.
  4. Create Gratitude Rituals: Incorporate gratitude into daily routines, such as saying what you’re thankful for before meals.

Conclusion

Gratitude is more than a feel-good practice—it’s a transformative mindset that can enhance every aspect of life. By cultivating gratitude, individuals can unlock greater happiness, stronger relationships, and improved health, creating a ripple effect that benefits their communities and the world at large.


Resources for Further Reading

  • Books:
    • Gratitude by Oliver Sacks
    • Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons
  • Research Articles:
    • Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). “Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
    • Lambert, N. M., et al. (2010). “Expressing Gratitude to a Partner Leads to More Relationship Maintenance Behavior.” Emotion.
  • Web Resources:

Happy New 2023 Year, New Purpose

colorful cutouts of the word purpose
Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Hellooooooooo 2023! We are in the place to be! Thankful and grateful … let’s get purpose filled! Y’all … it’s a new, fresh, brand-new, right of the package, poppin tags NEW YEAR! I normally am not this excited about a new year – who am I kidding … yes I am. This year feels different, we are years past the original COVID-19 lock downs. We are all blessed to be here. There are a lot of us who passed away and are here, but we will always remember so their memories live forever. For those of us who are still living on this earth, I hope you are making the best of each day … doing you, on purpose.

This year, I decided to focus on purpose. Each year, I normally select a “focus”. Instead of a resolution, I choose to focus on something I want to improve upon in a positive way. This year, my focus is “Purpose.” How does purpose shape life? For me, purpose has been different things at different times in my life. This year, purpose means honing my most authentic personal happiness. Last year, a ton of life changing events affected my level of happiness. I am sure you can say the same. This year, how about we decide to go totally wild and unfiltered with purpose filled happiness?

Sure I am down, but how do we start, you ask? Well, I am so happy you did … it all starts with creating a simple, easy, and personal … VISION BOARD! Yessssssssssssssssssssssss! I know, it seems super cheesy, but let me tell you – I have completed several vision boards in the past, and after recently moving I found all my past vision boards. While reminiscing over them, I realized that 90%, if not more of my “Visions” have come to past and manifested. It is time to do another one – this year deserves purpose filled attention.

Creating a vision board is so much fun and easy to do, and only takes about 1-hour to complete. All you need are a poster board, some magazines, clip art, pictures, words, markers, tape/glue sticks and anything you want to put on a poster board. You can also do this as a digital vision board, which is just as much fun. Once done, place it in plain view, for daily reflection. Before you know it – photo by photo, you will start to see positive changes. If you don’t believe me –try it for yourself. Even if only a few things come to pass, the most you have lost is an hour of time … not bad for putting good vides out in the world for your positive, purposeful life.

References
Vision Board Ref 1 – https://www.bjclearn.org/resiliency/PDFs/031110.pdf
Vision Board Ref 2 – https://www.truejoyexperience.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Vision-Board-Workbook-.pdf
Vision Board Ref 3 – https://sbwsdstor.blob.core.windows.net/media/Default/medialib/rising-strong-vision-board-workbook.41067a14622.pdf

Active Listening Skills

Communication is essential in any relationship. In a professional association, active communication is even more critical. Active communication is the effective way to communicate during a conversation where you improve lines of communication with others while also being aware of your communication barriers. Active communication entails understanding what the person is saying, reserving opinions, and articulating an understanding of the conversation. A practical ability to summarize the conversation implies the overall knowledge of what was heard.

When you are active listening, it’s essential to listen with purpose. Ask yourself, “what is being said?”  Judgment of the content being discussed should be reserved until the completion of the conversation; it’s important to remember that as humans, we naturally jump to conclusions.  Conclusion speculation is our ability to problem-solve and provide an answer as an immediate solution. Make sure to listen for the main ideas or key points of the message. Is there a theme with the main characters? Where is the setting? Is there a question being asked? It’s important to remain flexible during active listening within the conversation.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

Active listening encourages open-door conversation. During a conversation, find ways to engage in the conversation.  Does the speaker use phrases, acronyms, paraphrasing, or other communication jargon?  It’s important not to be thrown off course by words that may affect your emotions during a conversation. Continuing to listen without the urge to debate encourages active listening.  Remember, many people communicate to impress, not to express; in other words, make sure that in the communication, if there is a misunderstanding about a word, phrase, or jargon, ask the speaker to clarify.  These all show practical ways of active listening in a conversation.

Overall, remember active listening includes paying attention, showing that you’re listening, providing feedback, deferring your judgment, and responding appropriately in the conversation. And be sure to pay close attention to the speaker, whether in a group or on one-on-one.   Put aside distracting thoughts that may deter you from listening closely. Make sure to nod to engage the speaker and show your listening occasionally. Encourage questions by providing follow-up questions or feedback. Your role as a listener is to understand what is being said, not to come to premature conclusions.  Ensure to respond appropriately with your active listening abilities. Make sure to be candid, open, and honest with your responses. And make sure you treat the speaker in a way that brings respect to them and yourself.

Happy listening,

Jenice

Resources

Keys To Effective Communication. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://gacc.nifc.gov/eacc/logistics/crews/documents/keys_to_effective_communication.pdf

Mendoza, L. (n.d.). Developing Effective Communication. Retrieved 2021, from http://kortschakcenter.usc.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Workshop-Presentation-condensed.pdf

Tutorials Point – Effective Communication. (2016). Retrieved from https://www.tutorialspoint.com/effective_communication/effective_communication_tutorial.pdf

Focus on Your Strengths

As great as we think we are, we all have professional flaws.  I will admit I heavily depend on auto spell check and have struggled with attention to detail since I am a “Big Picture” worker.  I have been made aware of these professional flaws my entire career.  It seems that the more I try to improve my professional flaws, the further I get from focusing on what I am good at.  We cannot change intrinsic parts of our personality.  Some attributes will always be a part of us.  But there are practical ways of improving our humanistic professional aptitude.  

Throughout my career, I have taken dozens of personality tests.  The first time I took a personality test was during a job interview for a private culinary school.  The job I was interviewing for was Academic Advisor, and the pay wasn’t great.  The interview process was grueling and took almost 10 hours to complete.  It consisted of group projects, one-on-one panels, and finally, a personality test.  It was my first time taking a personality test, and it seems a bit mentally intrusive.  

Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

“The goal of this exam is to choose the first answer that that resonates with you.”  The announcer stated, slightly smiling at all of us candidates.  As I read quickly through the short instructions, I realized that there were only two potential answers to choose from.  “Oh, this is going to be a breeze!” I muttered to myself.  As I began to read the questions, I noticed that most of the questions/answers were simply reformatted over and over again.  I zoomed through the questions and finished the exam in 20 minutes.

Feeling pretty great about the potential job offer, I sat down for my final interview with the hiring manager.  “Thank you for coming in and spending the day with us; we appreciate your time and efforts to stay for the duration of this interview day, Jenice.”  He said with extreme direct eye contact.  “Thank you, I appreciate it,” I responded.  “What was your favorite part of the interview day?” He asked.  “Honestly, the personality exam … it was my first time taking one,”  I responded with a smile in return.  “Really?  The personality exam was your favorite part?” He asked.  “For sure, it was fun.  I am excited about learning more about my results.”

I concluded with insistence.  “Well, before we do that … I want to tell you a little bit more about the position you interviewed for.  It requires some personality skills that are embedded in who we are as individuals, not things we can necessarily change about ourselves.  And unfortunately, you don’t have those personality traits.”  He finalized. 

My mouth dropped to the floor.  “Oh, what does that mean exactly?”  I asked with great hesitation.  “To be honest, you are an ESTJ which means, for the most part, you are a natural leader and lack empathy.”  He said, thumbing through my results. “But, that means that you now need to focus on your strongest traits and find the position/career that is right for you.”  He smiled.  “Okay … so I didn’t get the job?” I asked.  “No, we would be doing you a great injustice to put a personality such as yours in this position.  If we have any leadership positions open, you should apply to those positions.  Again, thank you for your time.”  He said as he handed me a copy of my personality results. 

What did you get from my experience?  I know I received one of the best pieces of professional advice I could have asked for.  I wanted to learn more about my strong suit and what an ESTJ was, so I researched my personality.  I have done several personality exams since that interview and guess what?  I am still a strong ESTJ personality type.  There are significant parts about this personality type and all personality types.  The point is, that the hiring manager did me a professional favor.  I was able to truly focus on what I was good at and not try to change parts of myself that are what make me … me.  To this day, I tell that story to those who have hard times finding their professional purpose to give them an understanding – you are great the way you are.  But do you know who you are?  Sometimes, your purpose is to focus on what you are good at and let everything else work out on its own.

Focus on learning and growing every day,

Jenice

Resources

Friedman. (n.d.). MBTI Personality Test. Retrieved 2021, from http://www.lrjj.cn/encrm1.0/public/upload/MBTI-personality-test.pdf

Myers-Briggs Test Excel Version. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=sites&srcid=b2Nkc2IuY2F8bWxsZS1jYXJyaWVyZXxneDozYzI1MmFlYzY3Y2QzODRh

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (Short Version). (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from http://apps.nacada.ksu.edu/conferences/ProposalsPHP/uploads/handouts/2013/C079-H04.pdf

Weighing the Pros and Cons

How many times have you gone into a situation with the mentality, “if it works it works, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t?”  I can tell you from experience if you have that mentality before you have fully committed to the “process,” you have already given up on the whole situation.  “What do you mean, Dr. Jaye?” you may be asking.  If you have started a new position, you are initially excited about, and you have been working hard to obtain … then something happens you don’t like.  For example, there is a conflict of interest between you and another co-worker.  Nothing illegal, simply a personality conflict.  Then, you start to think about all the negative things that could go wrong.

As humans, our brains tend to create hypothetical fictitious situations that may or may not occur to validate our negative feelings about isolated events.  But, if you take a moment to breathe and remember the hard work and positive events/people that allowed you to achieve your goals, you can control your thoughts.  To make any sound and clear decision about anything, you have to think about the pros and the cons.  You should be honest with yourself about the entire situation.  What do you like?  What can you not accept?  How are you treated?  How do you treat others?  What makes you happy?  What can be improved upon?  Have you given the situation, career, relationship, a real shot, or opportunity for you to be successful?

One of the best ways to do honest reflection and decision-making is to write out a pros and cons list.  Creating an pros and cons list can provide insight and additional details for your decision-making process.  Pros and cons list may improve your understanding of the situation and help you avoid decision-making paralysis.   Not making a decision is just as detrimental as making a bad decision.  Using a simple pros and cons list encourages you to approach your decision objectively without letting your feelings impact your life choices.  

Happy decision making,

Jenice

Resources:

Quantitative Pros and Cons: Weigh up Decisions With a Simple Approach. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_05.htm

Weighed Pros and Cons Worksheet. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.decisionskills.com/uploads/5/1/6/0/5160560/worksheet_-_weighted_pros_and_cons.pdf

Weighing the Pros and Cons Worksheet 2. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://counselinglibrary.org/images/PDF_Documents/CBT_Handouts/Weighing_the_Pros_and_Cons.pdf

Paving it Forward – Pep Talks

There was no doubt that 2020 was a rough year, to say the least. So, instead … I wanted to say the “most.” I wrote Pep Talks the Series to help those new to the workforce, looking for a change or just need a “Pep Talk.”

Pep Talks is an introduction to a new way of interviewing and obtaining a job in today’s competitive market. Pep Talks is all about giving the reader an advantage over their competitors when working toward the goal of gaining more knowledge and understanding. This new job market is all-out unconventional ways of obtaining knowledge while learning employment tactics that work. Pep Talks explains how the new Job market knowledge and understanding how to better improve the chances of being “individually recognized” as a professional are vital. Pep Talks assists with building job confidence and self-­‐‑esteem along with providing detailed examples for the reader to use for interviews. Pep Talks is designed to assist the reader in planning, executing, and managing their own career and potential growth in their field of choice.


Each section has interactive “fill in the blank” areas for guiding the reader with critical thinking examples to assist with brainstorming and “Confidence Boosters” provide the reader with constant motivation for obtaining their “dream career.” Pep Talks serves the newly looking or the job seeker looking to change career paths. Pep Talks provides methods that assist with the career search and provide motivation for future endeavors.

If you would like a eCopy of my book, you can have a copy. That simple. I believe this is my small way of helping those who need a “Pep Talk” at any stage of professionalism you may be at. Here is the truth … you CAN do it. I have had several people, co-workers, peers, and family members give me a much-needed “Pep Talk” and now I want to pave it forward and give YOU, yes YOU – a “Pep Talk” too…because everyone needs a “Pep Talk” sometimes.

Much success and happiness to you,

Jenice aka Dr. Jaye

For more information to get your eCopy, simply contact me at my official website: www.jenicearmstead.com