How many times have you gone into a situation with the mentality, “if it works it works, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t?”  I can tell you from experience if you have that mentality before you have fully committed to the “process,” you have already given up on the whole situation.  “What do you mean, Dr. Jaye?” you may be asking.  If you have started a new position, you are initially excited about, and you have been working hard to obtain … then something happens you don’t like.  For example, there is a conflict of interest between you and another co-worker.  Nothing illegal, simply a personality conflict.  Then, you start to think about all the negative things that could go wrong.

As humans, our brains tend to create hypothetical fictitious situations that may or may not occur to validate our negative feelings about isolated events.  But, if you take a moment to breathe and remember the hard work and positive events/people that allowed you to achieve your goals, you can control your thoughts.  To make any sound and clear decision about anything, you have to think about the pros and the cons.  You should be honest with yourself about the entire situation.  What do you like?  What can you not accept?  How are you treated?  How do you treat others?  What makes you happy?  What can be improved upon?  Have you given the situation, career, relationship, a real shot, or opportunity for you to be successful?

One of the best ways to do honest reflection and decision-making is to write out a pros and cons list.  Creating an pros and cons list can provide insight and additional details for your decision-making process.  Pros and cons list may improve your understanding of the situation and help you avoid decision-making paralysis.   Not making a decision is just as detrimental as making a bad decision.  Using a simple pros and cons list encourages you to approach your decision objectively without letting your feelings impact your life choices.  

Happy decision making,

Jenice

Resources:

Quantitative Pros and Cons: Weigh up Decisions With a Simple Approach. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_05.htm

Weighed Pros and Cons Worksheet. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.decisionskills.com/uploads/5/1/6/0/5160560/worksheet_-_weighted_pros_and_cons.pdf

Weighing the Pros and Cons Worksheet 2. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://counselinglibrary.org/images/PDF_Documents/CBT_Handouts/Weighing_the_Pros_and_Cons.pdf