Category Archives: Holistic

Learn More About Oneself

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How much do you know about yourself? I can tell you right now that there is a lot about yourself that you may not know. There are things, abilities, weaknesses, and tons of outstanding qualities you may not know about yourself. What are these things you speak of Jenice? Well, I can tell you that in order to grow and be successful in life, you must learn more about yourself. When you learn more about yourself, you give yourself permission to extend your ability to experience gratitude, understanding, wisdom, flexibility, and overall personal professional growth. There are several ways you can do this.

You can grow and learn more about yourself by spending time with yourself, writing in a journal, meditating or communicating with friends and love ones. The point is, you are able to grow and learn more about yourself in anyway that suits and fits your needs. I have used several different tools to grow and develop self- awareness of myself. The Myers-Briggs personality exam is one tool I have often referred back to when looking for opportunities for growth in my personal or professional life. When I was honorably discharged from the military and started my academic career, I had no idea what the SWOT analysis of my personality was. The SWOT analysis are your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats of your own personality. This is important to understand in order to learn ways of handling difficult and challenging times. Using your SWOT, you may reflect back on your strengths to improve upon your weaknesses.

I vividly recall an interview for a position from my early years. I was sure that I was selected for the position. During the beginning, there were several interview panels that included my peers to be in the room, along side of me. We had to discuss why we were the best candidate(s) for the position(s). Then, there was a sit down exam. Normally, I am not good at exams – which most of us sometimes are not, when dealing with a stressful interview situation. I looked up, and heard the prompter instruct us all to “take the test quickly”, those were important instructions in that moment for me. Those of you that know me, know that I’m extremely competitive when it comes to ALL things. I have a tendency to be known as a bit of a “Rachel” from friends.

When I finished my exam the proctor informed me that I would be called up to discuss my results. When I was called up, I sat down nervously and took a deep breath. The first interviewer said the most incredibly off putting words, “this is not the position for you Ms. Armstead.“ As I sat their baffled, I decided to respond promptly, “why is that exactly sir?” The prompter than continued , “you seem to a lack of empathy.“ Again, stunned by the words that he was saying, I replied, “I absolutely have empathy, empathy for people going through things and empathy for understanding difficulties, I have plenty of empathy, thank you.“ He looked up at me, slightly smiling and responded “well the reason why we say you like empathy is because of your score on the personality exam. “Do you know what personality type you are?” He asked, obviously knowing that answer. “Your traits are that of an ESTJ on the Myers and Briggs personality exam.“ I had no idea what he was talking about. He then continued on to let me know that based on my personality trait, I would be better suited for other positions such as: business management, a political office, federal work, teaching or being a executive supervisor.

Needless to say, this happened over 15 years ago, I am thankful for that experience. That was some of the best professional advice I would ever receive. Since then, I have gone on to have a success career in higher education, the federal sector and starting/owning my own business. I was empowered with self knowledge. I learned more about myself in that interview than from any professional interaction. This allowed for a deeper understanding of my personality traits, and how they align with my professional and personal life. From then on, I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs personality exam every each year and have scored the same exact personality type every single year. I’ve learned a lot about myself, about my personality and how it relates to different situations, as well as how to improve upon my weaknesses.

The moral to the experience, you have the ability to learn, grow, and know more about yourself than ever before. I hope I have empowered you, inspired you, and provided grow and develop for you as well. You deserve to learn more about yourself, that is how you will gain your true success. Learn how to improve upon your weaknesses, it is worth it. You are awesome just the way you are, and in order to be more awesome all you have to do is be willing to be open enough to learn more about yourself.

Happy self discovey,
Dr. Jaye

MBTI Personality Test. (n.d.). Retrieved August 22, 2022, from https://publicdocs.adler.edu/LMS/interactives/data/MBTIPersonalityTypeTest/story_content/external_files/MBTI%20Personality%20Type%20Test.pdf

Short Story: Shared Moments

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There are moments in our lives that are mutually exclusively about ourselves. Then, some moments are shared with others. Whether you realize it or not, you share moments with friends, family, neighbors, and even strangers. The most interesting moments are shared with people you will never see, or hardly ever see. Anyone who knows me understands my deep love for my fur babies. Recently, the oldest of the fur babies crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge. It was a heavy day, I dreaded the next morning and having to walk only one fur baby. I was worried about bursting into tears at every glance from a blind or curtain. I worried that others would wonder where Princess was, as if she was home being fussy or being a Diva – which she did often. Every morning I would see an older Hispanic man walking his collie and schnauzer. One morning, when I went to waive – thinking it would be a good moment to share my loss with a fellow canine own, he turned around and sped away. I didn’t think much of it until it kept happening. “Did I say something to offend him?” I wondered.

A year and a half later, my wife and I decided it was time to add another addition. Enter into the family, Blue – our 8-week-old French Bull Dog. He is wonderful and has brought much-needed fresh energy to our home. The other day, my wife made mentioned seeing the Hispanic man and of course, he couldn’t resist Blue. My wife started, “Yeah, I saw that man and he was upset about us losing Princess.” She said. “What? What do you mean? That was over a year ago.” I replied. “Yeah, that’s what I told him, he didn’t know and he stopped speaking to you and felt terrible because it reminded him of how old his fur babies are.” She said. “Ohhhhhh,” I replied. That makes sense now. “What?” She asked. “Well, he would run off when he saw me walking Papi and not Princess,” I said. “Oh, yeah … he was sad about the future loss of his fur babies.” She concluded. It just goes to show, that your moments are not simply about you – sometimes, most times – they are about others’ moments as well. Be kinder, hug longer and hold on to the beautiful moments of life, it happens so fast.

New Fur Baby – Blue

Get Your Goals On

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You know I had to write about it … your life goals! We all have goals in life. Some goals are easily attainable, and others will take a ton of time, effort, and focus. The significant part about having goals is you can adjust your goals based on your needs. Your hierarchy of needs will change as you grow. Maslow (1943, 1954) stated that people are motivated to achieve particular needs and that some needs take precedence over others. Maslow’s theory works like this:

• If you have food – hunger need is satisfied
• If you have a viable home – shelter need is satisfied
• If you have friends/family to support – relationship/social need is satisfied
• If you have money to support yourself – financial need is satisfied

How do you know completing your smart goals is satisfying your hierarch of professional needs? You can start by asking yourself a few questions and gauging your happiness based on your truthful answers. When we decide to accomplish a goal, a series of things must happen to make completing the goal a reality.

• Get clarity of the goal – Write it down
• Make a list of steps to accomplish the goal – Write it down
• Inform a trusted friend/family member of your goal – Talk about it
• Make the steps toward the goal a daily reminder – Think about it
• Put the steps into action and find resources for achieving your goal – Act on it

It is that simple. Say it, believe it, and achieve it. I have included some resources to better prepare to for success toward creating and achieving your goals. Remember, allow yourself to let your goals change as you grow. Change is good and constant.

Happy goal achieving,
Jenice

Resources

OfficeArrow.com. (2008). Smart Goals Worksheet. Retrieved from https://www.mcckc.edu/counseling/goal-setting/docs/SMARTGoalWorksheet.pdf

Simply Psychology. (n.d.). Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Retrieved 2021, from https://canadacollege.edu/dreamers/docs/Maslows-Hierarchy-of-Needs.pdf

SMART Goals. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://www.baylor.edu/hr/doc.php/308719.pdf

S.M.A.R.T. Goals Worksheet. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://www.smartsheet.com/sites/default/files/IC-SMART-Goals-Worksheet-9237-PDF.pdf

Stress Management Tools

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Asking for help takes guts. In this day and age, it hasn’t always been popular to take a “Mental Health” day or call a time-out to gather your composure. The time has come for people of all walks of life, professional careers, and backgrounds to realize the importance of mental health management. Several of us struggle with different levels of mental health management. Those struggles can range from requiring additional medications (if needed) to learn how to cope with a barking dog. Mental health management is nothing to make light of; it is a serious topic that has become a more common conversation in recent days.

Usually, when you decide to help somebody else, you also wind up helping yourself. Recently, I started researching stress management and mental health theories to help me understand how to manage my stress levels. You’ll be surprised what you find when you use keywords such as stress management, mental health, understanding how to cope with stress, and the like. Upon my research, I found a term of stress management research that I’ve never heard/seen before. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT. I was surprised to learn that CBT has been around for years. I found some valuable tools that I thought would help me gauge my stress, anxiety, worry, and other lower moods. Not only has it helped, but I worked. I am truly overjoyed to have found these tools and share them with anyone interested in better stress management tools.

I do not claim to be nor am I a mental health management therapist; my specialty is business management. The tools provided are ones that I have found helpful for better understanding how to manage my stress levels. Transparency is vital in my writings to ensure that all readers understand that the resources provided may enhance the stress management techniques you choose for your life. From my understanding, CBT allows individuals to understand, manage, and practice stress management tools that work best for their stress management. I have found that CBT has increased my understanding and positive outlook on life as a whole. I hope you find the topics interesting and valuable. We all could use a reset now and then.

Be well,

Jenice

References

Gregory. (n.d.). CBT Skills Workbook: Practical Exercises and Worksheets to Promote Change. Retrieved 2021, from https://www.readpbn.com/pdf/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-Skills-Workbook-Sample-Pages.pdf

Hendricks, Cohen, Mannarino, & Deblinger. (n.d.). YOUR VERY OWN TF-CBT WORKBOOK. Retrieved 2021, from https://tfcbt.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Your-Very-Own-TF-CBT-Workbook-Final.pdf

Hofmann. (2020). The Anxiety Skills Workbook. Retrieved from https://mshoop.org/wp-lib/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/The-Anxiety-Skills-Workbook.pdf

University NHS Foundation Trust. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Skills Workbook. (2016, March). Retrieved from https://www.hpft.nhs.uk/media/1655/wellbeing-team-cbt-workshop-booklet-2016.pdf 

Choose Self-Care

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Waking up in the morning starts with random thoughts of important to-do list items to get completed for the day. All goes well until your feet hit the ground. A flood of thoughts saturate your mind when you realize that you still have your toothbrush in your hand as you grab the last bit of toilet tissue. Once again, your spouse has left you stranded on the throne. You may as well add this to your list of to-do “purchase more toilet tissue.” Why and how does your day become consumed with other people’s to-do items? You remember when it happened … when you stopped journaling, when you stopped paying attention to your happiness in the simple things … it is time to reclaim your time, your sense of self, and your to-do list!

I became fascinated with “Self-Care” when I overheard my spouse chatting on the phone about how much she had to do, when in fact … her list of to-do lists was my to-do list. I realized I missed doing special things for myself. I started down a rabbit hole of information and found some pretty useful items. To be clear, as stated by Lawler (2021), “Self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can be healthy, you can be well, you can do your job, you can help and care for others, and you can do all the things you need to and want to accomplish in a day.” Self-care does not mean to be selfish or acting selfishly, a huge difference. We all need to do some level of self-care.

How do we start to self-care for ourselves? We can start by not feeling like we have to do everything for everyone all the time. We can establish healthy boundaries and ensure that we communicate how and why overstepping our boundaries is inappropriate when people overstep those boundaries. We can express our needs and wants effectively with proactive discussions about complex topics. But what I found to be the most helpful way to start self-care is to wake up with an attitude of gratitude and continue checking in with myself throughout the day.

Self-care may be a new term for you but rest assured that this practice has been around for years. I am encouraging you to choose self-care for a better way of living and interacting with all in your life. I have included some resources for you to utilize for your self-care journey. Remember, we can only live one day, one moment, and one minute at a time; make sure to live it the way you choose to.

Be well,
Jenice

References:

Hardy, J. (2017). Self Care Project. Retrieved from https://www.blurtitout.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/The-Self-Care-Project-worksheets.pdf

Lawler, M., Phillips, Q., Revelant, J., Millard, E., Landau, M. D., & Russell, T. (2021). What Is Self-Care and Why Is It Critical for Your Health?: Everyday Health. Retrieved from https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/

Self Care Challenge. (n.d.). Retrieved 2021, from https://static1.squarespace.com/static/575cf8c120c647c0a0062afa/t/5a1f4308e4966bb1ff15b754/1511998216344/self care workbook.pdf

We All Love

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Today, my heart is heavy; yesterday, March 27, 2021; Our Princess went back to God. Princess was more than a canine to us; she was a comforter, a confidant, a joy, and an unconditional loving family member. You are never able to prepare yourself for the physical separation of a family member. The gift of love is what connects us all (especially animals). Princess was my wife and I first “baby” of our new life after being honorably discharged from the United States Navy. Princess was born in Dallas, Texas, on May 8, 2005. She traveled to Atlanta, Ga, shortly after. She has 1 brother (Papi). Princess comes from an extensive canine “Show Dog” bloodline.


On July 21, 2006 my wife and I were walking around an Atlanta, Ga mall. While rushing to leave due to hunger, I was speed walking past a pet store. “Wait, do you see that?” My wife said. “What?! No, we need to leave … to eat … it’s getting late,” I said abruptly. “But, look how cute she is.” My wife said as she was gazing into the “puppy in the window.” “No, I don’t want to look cause I am going to fall in love, and I am not trying to fall in love with a puppy we are not going to get,” I said adamantly. “But, she’s the only pug, you said you always wanted one, and she’s all by herself … and she’s so cute.” My wife said, walking into the pet store. “Okay, fine … but we’re only looking … 5 minutes … then, we grab something to eat and head home, okay?” I said with a bit of excitement. The first time I saw Princess, I knew we were not leaving that place without her, I couldn’t … she was perfect for us and us for her. “You wanna hold her?” the owner asked. “NO … no, I do not want to hold her,” I said, feeling my heart well up with love. “Yes, you do, you want to … let me grab her, no harm in a little puppy hug.” The owner said, partly laughing. He handed Princess to me, and I immediately fell in love, like real LOVE. She smelled like a baby … I didn’t even know that was possible. Before I knew it, some random kid asked to hold her … when I didn’t want to let her go, I knew she was our baby now.

We were blessed to have Princess in our life for 15 years and 10 months. I will always be grateful for everything she did for me, our family, and my life overall. I will always love and miss you, little mommy … always. Thank you for your unconditional love; we will hold you in our hearts forever.

Rest in Peace – Princess McGinnis-Armstead

Encouragement to Get Vaccination

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First, I want to wish you, and all those you love safety and healthy. I also want to thank all the front-line workers (doctors, nurses, grocery store workers, food delivery, and take-out employees and everyone who has been working, looking for work, or creating jobs for those who need a job … thank you. I received my COVID-19 Vaccination along with my beautiful, supportive, and encouraging wife.

We have all had reservations about this new vaccination. But the actual truth is we all need to get vaccinated to protect one another. Yesterday, at 1:15pm I received my COVID-19 vaccinations (as a United States Veteran) at the James A Haley, VA Hospital Complex in Tampa, Fl. Not only was my experience a pleasant one, but I was also able to connect with peers, seniors, and all those ages in-between. The staff explained all the guidelines and processes to know what to expect before and after getting vaccinated.

I am happy to say, I have only had a few symptoms after getting the shot: slight headache and sore arm at the sight of the injection. Easy peasy … this is not only for me but for you (the people in my community, the people I work with, the students I teach, the stranger I may never know the name of), please do the same for me and those you love.

Encouragement to Get the Vaccination

Just Saying …

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One Light in a Dark Place
Let’s start by saying, there is a lot is going on in the world, in society, and everywhere.  I have come to realize that regardless of whether you want to admit it, race is a factor of systematic discrimination. Period. I am sure you have stories, I have stories, and there are plenty of stories in the news to be outraged about.  There comes a time when talking just isn’t enough. Talking is an outstanding motivatng factor for initiating strategic change. But, real change comes with direct actions.  Action is the true synchronized mobility for change.

Too often as a black woman, I’ve been asked by people that don’t look like me how it is that I’m able to stay motivated, positive, and successful. Truth be told, it’s hard. It’s hard waking up and remembering that my natural hair has to be tailored to a customized fashion in order to appease people that don’t understand my hair texture. It’s hard to ensure that I find the right cosmetic foundation that matches my skin tone. It’s hard to ensure not to slip up and accidentally use an urban phrase or term in a meeting for fear of being labeled “ghetto.” It’s even harder to go to the grocery store and pick up a vegan or gluten-free item without receiving unsolicited and passive aggressive opinions about how “good it is” that eat well. Overall, it’s hard being black.

Although, I would not change my culture and my background for anything. What I would change is how people see it as a great divider. Statistically, I should not have college degree, be married, own a business, own home, speak “well” or be a vegan – just to name a few of my attibutes.  I often speak in motivational settings about success and staying focused.  As a segway several speaking topics, I talk about academic disparities I faced.  In tha same thought I speak about how I “blew it out of the water” and earned a Doctorate in my early 30’s.  I realized early on, that I had to mindfuly use approachablity tactics when speaking to predominantly non-black audiances to reduce my intimidation factor.  Yes, black women have to think about things like this – along with everything else.

Way too often, when I’m approached by peers and executive leadership to engage in “small talk” about myself.  I find myself having to explain my cultural background, academic career and how I was able to do it.  The conversation is almost always passive-aggressive. During a diversity meeting at one of the organizations I previously worked for, we had an open forum about “Race in the Classroom.” I knew how it was gonna go, I knew what was gonna be said, and I knew that there was gonna be no change put in place after the dawnting three-hour conversation was over.

At the end of the meeting, nothing was resolved, and nothing was written down toward strategic actions for ensuring the organization had more cultural sensitivity in the classroom. What did happen was myself and a co-worker we’re casually discussing the overall conversation.  I was asked specifically what it was like to be black? I gathered all of the strength from my black ancestors and started to regurgitate a default answer from memory, but instead stopped myself.  I decided to anwer honestly, instead of using my rehearshed template.  I specifically said “it’s hard being black, especially a black woman knowing that each and every day I have to prepare myself for the world mentally. The world does not see me as an educated woman. The world sees me as a black woman. The world does not see any of my accomplishments, accolades, dreams, or fears. The world does not see what I’ve done for my community, what I do for my students, or my motivational drive to ensure to be a good role model to little black girls and boys everywhere I go.”   I remember realizing that it was more than my co-worker could handle.  And decided to stop speaking.  She finally removed her hand from her mouth. I will never forget the look on her face. She simply replied with “That must be exhausting, I don’t see how you do it.” I replied, “I have no choice, it’s just the way it is – for now.”

Unfortunatly, the primitive factor of the color of your skin matters – it shouldn’t, but it does. But I’ve decided that the color of my skin is not a hindrance or a burden, it’s a gift.  I love being black, and I am a strong, educated, outspoken, sponky, lesbian, black woman.  Regardless of what the world throws at black folks, we always regroup, dust ourselves off and try again. It is literally in our DNA. We have a right to be happy, to be upset, to be angry, to be successful, to voice my opinion, to choose who to love, to do anything that brings happiness, positivity, and light to this world. That is where we stand, that is where we are coming from, and that is what we deserve.

Jenice

Take Care of Yourself

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People often say as a closing or departing phrase, “Take care of yourself.” One smiles and replies with the same or adding an additional pleasantry. When you think of taking care of yourself, you may think of eating healthy, exercising, or keeping mentally upbeat. When in fact, “Take care of yourself” as a statement is one of the most beautiful phrases one can say to another. Bear with me, simple but true – “Take Care” implies that you should pay attention to how you are taking care of yourself. When you think negative thoughts, you are not taking care of yourself. When you decide on grabbing fast food for convenience, you are not taking care of yourself. Even negative mental “chatter” about how far off from a goal you are, is not taking care of yourself. Deciding not to live out your purpose, is not taking care of yourself. Can you think of ways you can honor the proclaimed statement, “Take care of yourself?”

Let’s start with our thoughts, whether we believe it or not, thoughts become things. They may become negative or positive things that affect our lives in different ways. Today, make it practice to focus on not only taking care of yourself but paying attention to ways that no longer serve you in positive ways. It can be something as simple as waking up and starting a new practice of saying aloud, “I am awake, and for that, I am grateful.” Those that start their day with an “attitude of gratitude,” tend to take better care of themselves and those around them.

Be well,

Jenice

Resources: Gratitude and Hope. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.winona.edu/resilience/Media/Gratitude-Journal-Worksheet.pdf


Don’t Get Mad … Get Motivated

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We all have talents. We have strengthens. Do not be afraid of your own motivation and success. We know we have accelerated knowledge in our skill-sets, even when others try to emulate our work. The infringing part of impersonation is, it is never as good as the original. The original is just that, one of a kind, not able to be duplicated with slight or extreme differences. The best part about “the original” is there is and will always be, only one – of a kind. You are one of a kind.

What You Do Matters

Photo: Luke Webb

In this uncertain time, it is not the time to get mad. Instead, get motivated. Get motivated to be the very best you, you can be. There is always a way to look at the brighter side of things, even when all seems far off. You can do this. What have you wanted to do that you didn’t have the time to do? Do you want to get healthier? Come up with a plan. You don’t need a gym to work out and feel great. Have you wanted to start a blog about your favorite hobby? Do it, and there are a ton of free resources for you to get started. You don’t need an elaborate fancy website to share your ideas. Is there a new career venture you have been putting off? Why? The only way to know is to go for it and truly put your whole self into it.

We all have the time to think and seriously ponder on what makes us intrinsically happy. I am sure you have chatted with friends and family about all the things you love to do, that you are currently not able to do. The great part is you will have a chance to do those things you love to do – just in different ways. What will emerge from this significant time in our history? Some of the best ideas came from great disasters (natural and human-made). It is time to get motivated and stay focused. We are all important and have greatness to contribute to this beautiful world. Don’t get mad; get motivated.

Be well,
Jenice

Resources:

Self-Motivation Explained 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself. (2020, April 22). Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/self-motivation/

Boosting Motivation Guide. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://thiswayup.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/This-Way-Up-Boosting-motivation-guide.pdf

Step-by-Step = Goal Achieved

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When we think of a goal, we are often in a state of motivation. A conversation sparked an idea, a movie prompted an inspiring thought, or perhaps a song brought forth a vision to embark. No matter the prompt, there are a few things that need to happen before you get to “happy slappy” about how great it is going to be once you accomplish “that” goal. The idea, vision, and thought are the easy part … the hard part is the work put into achieving the goal. I once heard a motto that I will never forget, “The work between an idea and a goal is the arduous steps that are required toward completion.” That statement has driven each and every goal I have set out to accomplish. You have to remember, there will be hard work involved to attain any goal that is worth your while.

It is in the middle, the hard part, the work, the sweat, and tears … that is where the goals start to come to fruition. That is where you discover who you are and what you are made of. Too often, when things get hard, we simply stop. But, it is in the “step-by-step” brainstorming and mulling over the tasks over and over where the motivation kicks us into high gear. Motivation is not something that you get from a PodCast, YouTube Video, or phone call from a supporter. Motivation is the still and small voice that reminds you of why you started on your “Goal Journey” in the first place. You are welcome to use that phrase to remind you of the hard work you will put in.

I have worked in the private, public, and federal sections. It was in the midst of one of the greatest opportunities that I found my passion for education. I recently found an old photo of myself. I was sitting at a Play School desk, and if you are a Gen-Xer you know the one I am talking about, heck you probably had one too. I actually remember the moment when I fell in love with learning … it was that moment. Fast forward a few years, I was in one of the darkest places in my professional career and reconnected with my love of learning. But, I had to allow something new to emerge. It was from a candid conversation with my supervisor that I realized my life purpose was to work in education. I researched and found the perfect Doctoral Business Management program for my needs, and started out on my goal toward earning a terminal degree in business management, with the goal of working in higher education.

Was the goal hard and far off? Yes. Did it take longer than I thought it would? Of course. But the point is I started. Just start. Start now, you cannot worry about the details if you have not made a decision to start. Start where you are and start now. Stop comparing yourself, your situation or your life to others. Truth be told, there are probably others comparing their lives to yours. Instead of all of the reincarnations of iterations of what we think we should be doing, let’s break the cycle and set an example for “Doing It Your Way” … oh … I think I feel a book birthing out of that last statement. Be the best you, you can be … unapologetically.

Patel, Deep. “16 Actions to Take to Achieve Any Goal.” Entrepreneur, 27 Aug. 2018, www.entrepreneur.com/article/318347.

Getting Positive, Purposeful and Productive …

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Let’s keep this good, highly positive energy going. I have to say; it has been a while since I have written two articles in a row. Normally, I try to post at least 1 article a month. I found my time slipping through my fingers minute by minute. People always say, “We all have 24hours in a day – it is up to you to make the most of it.” Let’s digest the “24 hours” we all have:

  • 6 – 8 Hours – People normally spend sleeping
  • 2 Hours – Getting ready for work, school, date or other events, which can take up to (start to finish – bathing, dressing, make-up, getting kids up and ready, etc.)
  • 3 Hours – We seem to take up several hours to eat (in totality)
  • 2 – 3 Hours – Then there is the “Waiting” on something or someone, all together (depending on how fast traffic takes, public transportation, elevators, walking dogs, etc.)

What are we up to now? 16 hours

Okay, 24 Hours – 16 Hours = 8 hours (Purposeful Time Left)

And you guessed it, most of us work at a minimum of 8 hours a day – that is the rest of it. That is what most people’s 24 hours may look like, give or take some adjustments in tasks and responsibilities. That is how one can find time slipping through one’s fingers.

How is this positive, purposeful, or productive information, Jenice?!? You may be asking with learning this frustration realization. I am glad you asked. The key to taking back your time is realizing that you have more than enough of it … simple, but true. Now that most of us are finding ourselves teleworking, on a compressed or flex-schedule, we literally are being the gift of time. Each and every day, you get to choose (hopefully), how you spend your time now. 

Getting positive – if you still are employed in a safe working environment, be thankful. Getting purposeful – If you are working, then what you are doing is purposeful, and thank you for all you do, every day that you do it. Focused on Production – Production is not everything; poor quality is worst than producing nothing. Production is nothing without quality time spent ensuring the product is of good value. Instead of listening to all of the negative jargon all the time, do yourself a favor and find something to be positive, purposeful, and productive about. You will find you have more time than you could have ever scheduled on your calendar. 

Be well,

Jenice

Daum, K. (2014, November 3). 9 Ways to Save More Time. Retrieved from https://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/9-ways-to-save-more-time.html

Getting to Know Yourself Better with MBTI Test

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How often have you wondered why you respond to situations or events as you do? Have you tried to change your behaviors for the better? How successful have you been? The link may be in your intrinsic personality traits.

I have often implemented real-life assignments into my class lectures for students to grow both academically and personally. The Myers and Briggs Personality (MBTI) Test is a consistent tool that is used by several academics for student success. This is a fantastic way to get to know your students and for you to better gauge your behaviors and personality traits. There are plenty of ways to utilize this for everyday situations. I have used the MBTI Test as a for-credit assignment on several topics to include: accounting, business management, organizational behavior, human resources, financial management, and many others.

I often have found that peers enjoy completing the MBTI Test as a way of expressing their strengths. It has been used in leadership training across organizations looking for employees to gain a better understanding of their professional relationships for collaborations.  I find it to be incredibly insightful. Since you have all of this time on your hands, you may want to dive in and get to know yourself a little better.
Be well,
Jenice

Reference: Friedman. (n.d.). MBTI Personality Test. Retrieved 2020, from https://d3jc3ahdjad7x7.cloudfront.net/spokaLTFBEADL9JnMd7njgJd96nyp7YNgICG2tlJWifcI7GP.pdf

COVID 19 Personal Reflection – Thanks and Appreciation

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We are all doing what we can to stay safe and stay healthy. There are those whose career it is to be on the frontline in this arduous time in our history. It makes me think of my own family and friends, those who are currently working in hospitals, mortuaries, grocery stores, restaurants, security, groundskeepers, janitorial services and etc. While there is plenty of negative chatter and sights, there are just as many positive sights in view.

Grandma Charlene

Grandma Charlene at ABC Market in Los Angeles, Ca

My Grandmother, Charlene Armstead, worked for ABC Food and Market in Los Angeles, CA for over 30 years. It was a grocery store that was community-based. Everyone knew everyone and always lent a helping hand when a member was in need. I can recall being as young as 2 years old, my mother bringing me to see my Grandmother (who often worked overtime), and everyone in her line knowing that I was her firstborn grandbaby, “There goes my grandbaby, yall are going to have to just wait a few minutes! This is MY GRANDBABY.” Grandma Charlene would yell, at least I know where I get my “loud whisper” from … but do you think those customers minded? No, because they had great respect for my Grandma Charlene, as she also had them as well.

We need to show one another more respect than some of us have displayed.  They say you find out who someone really is during hard times, it is easy to be nice and thankful when all is well – but, what about when it really matters?  Thank you to all of you who go out each and every day during this treacherous time in our history of COVID-19. Thank you for putting your lives on the line, so all of us are able to stay as safe and healthy as possible. I appreciate you going to work while I stay home – you are very much appreciated.

Be well,
Jenice

Establishing and Exercising Boundaries

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Establishing Boundaries are Important for Everyone

Happy New Year, it is time to “Marie Kondo” a few things.  We all have a few things we need to clean up, throw out or condense.  The New Year means setting new goals, removing old goals and reflecting on accomplishments.  Let’s start off small, boundaries.  Don’t click off of the page just yet … boundaries are good.  They help us to conduct a self “check-in” and ensure things are as they should be for our mental health.  Establishing boundaries assist with stress management, self-value, and creativity.  Whether we want to admit it or not, boundaries are healthy. 

Boundaries do not have to be long and drawn out.  If you have never thought about boundaries, they are pretty simple to implement – be swift and simple, i.e. “I will not accept friend requests from people I do not know on social media.”  Simple and moderate.  It is necessary to be specific, “I will not accept a position for a lower salary than my asking baseline.” Super simple, yet specific.  Make sure your boundaries are also positive and represent your values, “If I am approached by a random person who has little respect for my person, I will choose to remove myself from the situation – I deserve to be respected at all times because I respect others.”  Consequences are a must if a boundary is crossed – give yourself permission to speak up and say something.  Address it, and make sure to state how and when the boundary was crossed.  Consistency and communication are keys to boundaries.  Communicate your boundaries clearly and ensure you are understood by the person(s) involved.  Ensure you inform the person(s) how their lack of respect for your boundaries have caused you to invoke consequences.  This assures there is no negotiations for your boundaries and your expectations are clear.  Make sure to be open if they would like to discuss their boundaries.  You may learn something about their character.  Remember, you have a right to establish and exercise your healthy, positive and affirmative boundaries.  Have a great year, and remember – you have a right to happiness, health, and wholeness.

Reflect and keep these simple boundary indicators as a reference to establish and exercise your own boundaries in your professional and personal endeavors.  Happy New Year.    

1. Be Moderate

2. Be specific

3. Be positive – Virtues-based

4. Have specific, relevant consequences

5. Make consequences educative

6. Be consistent

7. Communicate rules clearly

8. Be sure consequences are understood 

9. Make bottom line rules non-negotiable 1

10. Make expectations clear

Reference: Guidelines for Establishing Clear Boundaries. (2007). Retrieved from https://www.virtuesproject.com/Pdf/ClearBoundaries.pdf

Dr. Jenice Armstead

New Year, New Attitude!

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Every year, we strive for new goals. How about striving for a new attitude? An attitude, not merely a positive attitude – but, a better one? Being positive is more than just a state of mind. Being positive is about our interactions with ourselves, others and with difficult situations. We’re often told to “stay positive,” but no one ever tells you how to stay positive. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand that things are going to happen to you, good, bad, and indifferent. The ability to exercise self-control and realize that just because we fail or something negative happens to us, does not mean that we are bad people or that we have a bad experience entirely. Just as it is unhealthy to be Pollyannaish, it is equally unhealthy to be overly pessimistic. How do we balance the spectrum between being positive and being overwhelmed with life? The first step is to remember that there is something good in the situation that you can learn about yourself, others or how to handle the situation better in the future. The second part is to forgive yourself for being negative about a situation. The third part is to realize that your best is going to change from moment to moment. It comes with the realization that you are not a perfect being, none of us are. That is the beauty of life, we can do things differently and in a more positive aspect every time we engage or interact with the negative situation. Keep that in mind this new year, as you go into new challenges, new ventures, new relationships, new everything. Let’s be mindful of our emotional intelligence and our ability to control several aspects of a situation. Truth be told, you have more control over a situation than you think you do.

Reference: Bradberry, T. (2014). 3 Powerful Ways To Stay Positive. Retrieved 2019, from http://www.talentsmart.com/articles/3-Powerful-Ways-To-Stay-Positive-1120740708-p-1.html

Dr. Jenice Armstead, United States Navy Veteran

New Train of Thought: Holistic Learning, Working and Being

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Greetings and salutations readers,

There has been a lot that has conspired since the last time I have written to you. I’ve gone through a career change, I’ve changed my eating habits, I have decided to face financial items head on that should’ve been addressed a long time ago, and I have a completely different view on life. Being a holistic teacher has taught me a lot about myself and about those that I educate. I realize it is not only my responsibility to enlighten you with knowledge of business and human resources, but with actual, practical, tactical life skills to help you get to where you need to be in life.

I have been doing a lot of research on the need for understanding the basics. Without the basics of anything, we have a foundation for nothing. The basics provide us with the understanding of why we are doing what we’re doing and where we need to go with what we’re doing. If you’ve been following me or reading my articles for a while, you know that my life mantra is “more being, less doing.” By that I mean we need to decide to be more and stop thinking that just because we say we’re “busy” means that we’re doing something of meaning. In actuality, we are doing nothing if we are not deciding to be more in every moment for the purpose for our own lives.

It is time to think more, challenge more, understand more, realize more, interact more, empathize more and be more. I know firsthand that many of you are going through many different struggles, we all have things and situations that we’re currently dealing with on top of finding our purpose in life. What you must ask yourself in every moment is “Who am I being and what are my doing?” Einstein said something that resonates with me since I have been researching and studying holistic thinking. He said “If you can’t explain something in the simplest terms, in the lowest common denominator then you don’t have a true understanding of it.”

These are the times that we are currently in. We must understand and acknowledge things from the lowest common denominator to get to solutions for the big problems. These are my thoughts, and this is how I will continue to research, think, grow and learn. I thank you for your support, and I hope that you would provide your feedback and input on different topics that you would like me to research, discover and share with you.

Peace and blessings to you and all of your endeavors,

Dr. Armstead

Not Taking on Others Fears and Anxieties

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Fears and anxieties arise from a lack of control of the situation or event. When others have a fear of change, unforeseen circumstances and other things out of their control – fear and anxiety start to fester. Today’s Wisdom Wednesday focuses on not taking on others fears and anxieties. When you realize who you are, how to get things done and the purpose of things – your fears and anxieties will turn into motivational driven abilities towards a goal. Goals are great ways to keep track of what you want to do, where you want to be and how you want to get there. We are all human, and fear and anxieties come with the human experience. The growth and understanding comes from understanding that fears and anxieties out of your control may get out a hand when not dealt with face on. One way to deal with fears and anxieties – for example in the workplace, is to gain a better clarification through communication with others. Although communicating with others may not provide absolute clarity, it can provide enough clarity to gain an understanding of how to handle the situation. Make a point to pay attention when you have fears and anxieties come from you by the way of others emotions and reactions to situations. This is a great way to gain understanding and provide yourself the ability to stay cool, calm and collective in any given situation.

Jenice

Happy 6th Birthday to Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!

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Happy sixth birthday to my very first published book “Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!” Six years ago today, I self-published my very first book – cookbook to be exact. Not only was this a huge accomplishment, but it was the edification of my ability to grow myself as a brand and share my ideas with the entire world. Many people don’t know how “Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!” came about as the concept for my first book. Being that I have sporadically shared the story with people that have asked me about the title and the stories of the recipes – you would learn I did not know how to cook. Which is what made this accomplishment all the more rewarding. For those of you that have not read my first book, “Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!” it is all about how I self taught myself how to cook. In “Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!” I wanted to be super transparent. Mission accomplished! “Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!” was birthed with the idea of sharing amusingly and comical stories about myself, my life and ultimately my family. The feedback over the years from those who have read the”Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!” has been enlightening and exciting. Many people have said that they purchased “Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!” for coffee table conversations, for their significant others, for those who need the basics on how to cook simple and healthy meals and overall for the pure fact that the title made them explode with laughter. Truth be told, the book took me three years to actually write, it was born of sticky notes and recipes gone bad. I want to thank my wonderful supportive wife who ate every meal whether it looked bad, tasted bad or even smelled bad. Through all of it, I realized it was ultimately necessary that I publish not just a cookbook, but a cookbook where I was intrinsically embedded in each individual page.  Thank you all for all of your love and support.  You are very much appreciated.

Happy sixth birthday to my very first edification of self transparency, “Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!”

Lesbians Have to Eat, Too! By: Dr. Jenice Armstead Professor & Author

Lesbians Have to Eat, Too! By:            Dr. Jenice Armstead

Dr. Jenice Armstead
Professor & Author
United States Navy Veteran

Amazon Purchase Information Click Here: Lesbians Have to Eat, Too!

Monday Morning Mindset – Intrinsically Yourself

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You are the best version of you that there ever will be, could be and must be. You are the only you that will ever exist now until forever. You possess skills, knowledge and abilities that are uniquely define to you. You must realize that there’s no way to be, or experience outside of yourself. You must keep your word to self and realize that you are intrinsically yourself – entirely. You are the best you, the highest level of you and the all seeing of your own self. In order to be the best, you must acknowledge that you are intrinsically yourself.

Jenice